Celebs who look old

Now I'm not talking about celebs who are old, but what is it with Americian Women who look like they are in thier mid thirties it's just odd or they are just blatently lying about how old they are. Lets take a few examples

Solange Knowles d.o.b. June 24, 1986



Nicole Scherzinger d.o.b. June 29, 1978 (She is catching up to her age, but I swear she used to be a man)


(1986-06-24)

The General Public

If public transport or come to think of it any transport was to have a motto I would borrow a quote from Jean-Paul Satre "l'enfer, c'est les autres" For those who don't speak French it translates as

"Hell is other people"

Now spend a length of time on public transport and I defy you to not identify with this. Now you may think that this has little effect on your life in general but it does for example would you do any of the following as a person (without children).

1. Any theme park in school holidays
2. Oxford Street the week before Christmas

And this extends to holidays also, as I mentioned in a previous post Holidays and hotels any package holidays at massive 400 room hotels, buffets and dive bombing I would avoid like the plaque to the extend that I would rather take a week off and spend it at home. Now I don't think that I'm alone in this way of thinking, even though 1st class is slowly being abolished on trains think how much more pleasant your day to day life could be without the annoying. Mind you this isn't a solution in itself to bring back the classes, as how annoying you are as an individual isn't reflected by how much money you have, in fact privately educated kids are among the most annoying of all. They have some jumped up sense of self and are oblivious to anyone around them, to be honest most of them were probably raised by Nanny's and if you think about how much effort you put into working for you company you can see why many of these kids end up like they do.

So what can you do about it? Nothing. How do your deal with it? Like everything else just let them wind you up and call them all c**ts to yourself.

Women and time

Now over the years there have been many arch rivals Superman and Lex Luther, Batman and The Joker, now there is a new one to add to the list Women and Time. Now ask any woman about what annoys them about their other half and I suspect a large majority including mine will tell you that they sit around doing nothing a lot. Now I admit this is true but is not the complete story, the time I spend sitting around doing nothing is usually the direct result of my girlfriend doing something that requires me to wait for her to finish!

Now I saw something on the TV today I'm not sure where the research was from but it stated that on average a woman only has 66 minutes of free time per day. Now as a man I ask the question how the bloody hell is that? Constantly I'm told as a man I am unable to multitask as women are, but seriously how inefficiently must they multitask to end up with 66 free minutes. I suppose one of the things that effects this is similar to women and spacial awareness thing, in that they don't actually have any concept of time. Getting ready is a prime example of this I know that I need an absolute maximum of 30 minutes to get ready including the mandatory three S's (Shit, Shower and Shave for the uneducated). My girlfriend on the other hand protests that all other women take forever to get ready but she is the expectation to the rule 30 mins no problem. Now how she has worked this out baffles me as from the point the alarm is set for to the time she has to leave the house to get the train is exactly 60 mins. So where exactly do those other 30 mins disappear?

Now take for example preparing for an event be it wedding or special dinner, her estimate will maybe increase to 40 mins of preparation time and in the beginning being a bit naive I would have accepted this, but found out pretty quickly it's absolute rubbish. I know that for a 1pm exit preparations need to begin about 11:30am a full 90 mins, which leads me to the construction of a new theory.

If you think that a woman is under estimating something double it, for example 'How long will it take you get ready?' or 'How many men have you slept with?' (btw never actually ask that)

To the opposite if you think they are over estimating something half it. 'Do you know you drank x pints last night' or 'Do you know how long I waited up for you?'

So if this true the 66 minutes they claim to have free actually calculates as 2hrs 12mins which begs the question why is the flat so sodding dirty?